My personal connection with Alzheimer’s stems from my mom who was first diagnosed with it in 1992, at the age of 72. My parents were both retired and living in Gainesville, Florida, where they were planning to live their golden years out. In fact, my dad purchased an RV for the both of them to travel around the country. Needless to say, after the diagnosis, the future for my parents changed.
My personal connection with Alzheimer’s stems from my mom who was first diagnosed with it back in 1992, at the age of 72. At that time, my parents were both retired and living in Gainesville, Florida, where they were planning to live their golden years out. In fact, my dad purchased an RV for the both of them to travel around the country. Needless to say, after the diagnosis, the future for my parents changed.
For the first four years my mom was going to a day care center for adults. These centers are great for both the person with Alzheimer’s and the caregiver. My dad was her caregiver, as both of them were alone in Florida, and their four children were living in Illinois and New Jersey at the time. My dad, who had a heart condition at the time of the diagnosis, was not in the best of health himself. My dad tried his best to keep my mom home, but at times she would wander outside looking for me in my baby stroller, or her mother. Her mother would have been in her 100’s at the time and I was in my 30’s. It got to the point that my dad finally had to put my mom in a nursing home as she needed more services and for safety reasons. Before he did all of this, though, my dad put together a celebration party for their 50th Wedding Anniversary, redoing their wedding vows to each other.
For the next six years, my dad would visit mom every day to make sure she was dressed right and that her hair was done. She had a standing appointment at the beauty parlor every week for her hair and nails to be done. My dad wanted my mom to live with dignity during all of this. He would always take her out to the mall or go for a bite to eat early on, but eventually she wasn’t able to go out anymore. My dad would conduct a singing session with the rest of the patients every day in the afternoon. Everyone looked forward to it. Keep in mind that this Nursing Home was near the University of Florida and Shands Teaching Hospital. A lot of the patients were once professors and doctors.
When I would visit the nursing home I would walk down the halls and be yelled at, but I never saw that type of behavior from my mom. My mom, even though at times she would remember you, and then sometimes not know who you were, was always so kind and loving. My mom finally passed away in August 18, 2002 at the age of 83. I always remember my mom telling me early on that she knew she had Alzheimer’s and that there is nothing she could do.
The hardest part of all of this was seeing this love affair between my parents coming to an end. Once my mom passed away, my dad moved up to Illinois where nine months later he ended up having a stroke and would eventually end up in a nursing home himself until he passed away in 2012.
So I walk in the McHenry County Walk to End Alzheimer’s because I do not want to see other families go through all of this. One day I am hopeful we can put an end to this.
– Ira Handelsman