Benefits of Telling Your Life Story
It’s now called “life review” rather than “talking about the olden days,” but research shows recording your life story can serve as a legacy for future generations, bring a sense of accomplishment and peace and even ease depression. Click here to view article.
Reminiscing about the “good old days” was once considered almost a sign of senility, an indication that an older person wasn’t adapting to today’s world but instead clinging to bygone days. Yet research is showing that telling stories about one’s life through a more formal practice, known as life reviews, has many benefits for seniors.
Over the past decade, studies have shown that reviewing one’s life can:
- Ease transition into old age.
- Further personal growth and promote self-discovery.
- Increase acceptance and sometimes satisfaction with one’s life.
- Improve self-esteem.
- Lower or prevent depression.
- Socially engage people who have dementia.
- End isolation by promoting social interaction, either with others in a class or with interviewers.
- Reduce chronic pain.
- Improve cognitive function.
- Help staff in nursing homes, hospitals, etc. to view client/patient as a complex individual with a lifetime of experiences—both good and bad.
- Give the opportunity to review accomplishments and remember life’s joys and challenges.
- Provide a bigger picture of an individual’s life and place in the world.
- Help older adults create a permanent historical record about their lives as well pass on their wisdom and values to future generations.
Life narratives are a natural outgrowth of the phase of life between our 60s and 80s when we look back and assess our lives, seeing our mistakes and our accomplishments, determining what we learned. It’s also a natural impulse to want to pass on the lessons we’ve learned to family, friends and future generations.
For those close to death, life reviews become more of an imperative. Hospitals, senior centers, hospices and other settings for dying or very ill patients are using this practice, coined dignity therapy or reminiscence therapy, to bring closure to lives. One scientist found that dying individuals were most frightened by the idea of not existing after death and were comforted by the idea of creating a document that would outlast them. Hospice workers and other caretakers are being trained to interviewing the dying, which can ease anxiety and depression at the end of life.
What to Write About
There are many ways to write a life review. One is to use a simple form that lists the facts and opens the door to deeper storytelling:
- Date and place of birth
- Names of parents
- Childhood: siblings, stories, schools, friends
- Marriage(s): date, place, name of spouse
- Education: school, college, university and other
- Designations, awards and other recognitions
- Employment: jobs, activities, stories, colleagues, promotions
- Places of residence
- Hobbies, sports, interests, activities
- Charitable, religious, fraternal, political and other affiliations
- Achievements
- Disappointments
- Individual attributes, such as a sense of humor
Another way is to answer more thought-provoking questions, such as “What did you want to be when you grew up?” (see sidebar).
For some people, the most important action is passing on what they’ve learned to another generation. One woman who was dying of cancer created a video of herself interacting with her children. Her message to her daughters: “I won’t be there when you start dating. I won’t be there when you get married. These are some of the things I want to tell you that I believe it’s important that you do with your life.”
Some want future generations to know what life was like before electricity or television, while others want to rid themselves of painful memories. One man who suffered from alcoholism all his life wanted his children and grandchildren not to repeat his mistakes. Others “rewrite” history to come to terms with sometimes painful facts. For others, it’s not the big events in life that are important but the smaller memories, like walking in the woods with dad. Each person may have a different reason or style, but what’s important is the telling and listening that helps create a sense of peace or relief.
The author of the blog Fierce with Age suggests making a master list of every regret you’ve had. “What have you done to yourself or to others that you wish you could take back? What have others done to you? What other disappointments or just plain bad luck has life brought your way? When you’ve recorded everything you can possibly think of, go through the list again. This time, cross off every item for which you’ve already made amends and every item you can no longer do anything about. What you will be left with is a to-do list that you can still address. Time to stop writing, thinking and brooding about your to-do list. Close your journal and do what you can to make amends, fix the situation, apologize and/or forgive.”
Forms of Life Review
Life review techniques can be formal or informal. Individuals can write (or record) their own life stories, perhaps prompted by online templates or suggested questions (see sidebar). Family members or professionals can serve as interviewers. Classes, both online and locally taught (through senior centers or other organizations), can provide the advantage of sharing stories with others.
One of the more well-known proponents of the “guided life review” is Dr. James Birren, founding dean of the School of Gerontology at the University of Southern California, who offers several methods for a “guided biography” both online and through on-site classes. For example, his “Guided Autobiography” class “helps individuals organize their life stories. Guided by a trained instructor, participants are led through themes and priming questions that evoke memories of events once known but filed away and seemingly forgotten. Writing and sharing life stories with others is an ideal way to find new meaning in life as the uncertainties of the past, and the contradictions, paradoxes and events of life are put into perspective. Participants feel stronger and have a growing appreciation of their lives.“
For those who want to write their own life story, the website Lifebio provides a template and online questions. For people who want more help and direction, the Association of Personal Historians offers 670 “personal historians” who can help you write your story (for a fee, of course).
With today’s accessible printing technologies, you can easily turn your written life story into a printed book, complete with photos. You can also create high-quality videos or audio recordings, which allow you to pass on to future generations a “live” rendition of yourself.
To jog your memory, use old photos, either from your life or the times you lived through. Go back in family history with online genealogy programs.
There’s even an International Institute for Reminiscence and Life Review, which brings academic scholars together “to further define reminiscence and life review as an interdisciplinary field of study in the areas of practice, research, education, volunteer and individual application.”
“The known advantages of doing [life reviews] ” wrote member John A. Kunz , “include improving the attitudes of younger adults toward older adults and vice versa, finding meaning in life, improving problem-solving skills, assisting with the grief process, increasing emotional support, strengthening self-esteem, decreasing depression and anxiety, and developing interventions for individuals with dementia.”
Questions to Get You Started
Sometimes open-ended questions about your life can bring up memories that will prove fertile for writing a life review. Here are some examples:
- How would you describe your mother to someone who had never met her?
- What is a key lesson you learned from your father?
- Describe your childhood home, inside and outside.
- What did you want to be when you grew up?
- What were your most memorable experiences from high school?
- Have you found true love? Describe what true love means to you.
- What is the hardest part of being a parent?
- What is the greatest invention that has come along in your lifetime so far? Why was this invention important to you?
- What does it take to succeed in life?
- What was the best time of your life? Why?
- It’s been said that, “The best things in life are free.” Is this true?
Source: Aging in Alabama
http://www.optimumseniorcare.com/services/alzheimerscare.php