Kristofferson says he has memory issues but remains active

Actor and Grammy Award-winning country singer Kris Kristofferson says he’s losing his ability to remember — except for song lyrics. Like country legend Glen Campbell, who revealed that he has Alzheimer’s disease but still released music and went on tour, Kristofferson’s memory loss isn’t slowing him down.

http://www.optimumseniorcare.com/services/alzheimerscare.php

http://optimumseniorcare.com/blog/

Alzheimer’s disease may have an effect on your relationships

While your abilities may change over time with Alzheimer’s, your ability to live well with the disease depends on how you continue to be a partner in your relationships. Establishing and maintaining meaningful relationships throughout your Alzheimer’s experience can enhance your ability to stay both physically and emotionally healthy.

Alzheimer’s may affect your relationships. While your abilities may change over time, your ability to live well with Alzheimer’s depends on how you choose to continue to be a partner in your relationships.

• How Alzheimer’s affects relationships
• Role changes
• How to keep your relationships positive
• Intimacy and sexuality

How Alzheimer’s affects relationships

It is crucial to remember that you are still the same person you were before the diagnosis. However, after sharing your diagnosis, you may find that others are uncertain about how to respond. Some individuals may shy away, while others may be eager to stand by you and provide support. You may find that people with whom you once had a close relationship are now uncomfortable talking to you or asking you about how you are coping.

It can hurt to realize that certain family and friends you thought would be there for you can’t meet your expectations now. They may have discomfort about your diagnosis, as it stirs up fears about their own futures. People who can’t be a part of your support circle now may join later once they have had time to adjust to your diagnosis.

You may find it difficult to participate in social activities or interactions that were once enjoyable for you. Anxiety, frustration or loss are common emotions that you may experience about changes in your ability to follow a conversation, stay focused with competing background noise, or have enough energy to participate in social activities. For many, these changes in relationships can lead to isolation, withdrawal and depression, which can have a negative impact on your physical and emotional well-being. Learn how others are coping with Alzheimer’s and changing relationships by joining our message boards and seeing Tips for Daily Life.

Establishing and maintaining meaningful relationships throughout your experience with Alzheimer’s can enhance your ability to stay both physically and emotionally healthy.

Role changes

As your abilities change, there will be changes in your roles and responsibilities with family and friends. As a result, you may feel:

• Excluded from conversations about long-term planning and other important decisions.
  1. – Family members may have conversations or make plans for the future without
       your presence or feedback.
• Loss of independence or specific functions that were your primary responsibility.
  1. – Those close to you may feel the need to make the decision for you about when to
       stop driving.
  2. – You may experience a loss of employment or a loss of your role as a bread-winner.
  3. – Others may feel that you should no longer make financial decisions.

• Fear of burdening others with a caregiving role or other responsibilities that you once managed.
• Becoming more dependent on spouse, family or friends.

All of these issues and feelings can affect your relationships. You may find that those closest to you have good intentions, but may provide help that feels invasive or unnecessary at times.

It can be difficult to do, but adapting to changes and accepting help from others can be a way to acknowledge the value their assistance brings to your life. The more you can be involved, the fewer negative feelings you may have.

How to keep your relationships positive and productive

• Be open about your feelings.
  Share your experience living with the disease.
• Be specific about how you would like to continue relationships and how you would like to be treated.
  Let others know what social activities you feel most comfortable doing and the best ways to share time together.
• Learn how to ask for help.
  Tell others how they can help and your expectations for support.
• Strengthen trusting relationships.
  Focus on those relationships which are supportive, and show your gratitude for the people you love and appreciate.
• Reevaluate relationships.
  Don’t dwell on people unable to support you at this time or are unable to have a positive presence in your life. Give them the time to adjust to your diagnosis. Try not to take their pulling away personally.
• See yourself as unique and human.
  You have much left to experience.

Intimacy and sexuality

Throughout your life, your need for physical and emotional closeness and your sexuality and how you experience it, undergo changes. Some of these changes come with maturation, while others reflect changes in life circumstances, such as a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. The disease may affect sexual feelings and behavior. Take your needs and expectations for intimacy into consideration as the disease progresses.

If you have a sexual partner, openness about sexual changes is a key part of maintaining closeness. The more open and honest you can be with each other, the more you can avoid assigning blame, feeling guilty or lowering the self-esteem of either partner. It is important to educate yourself and your partner about the changes that occur and how to respond appropriately.

Your interest and expression of intimacy and sexuality may be affected by Alzheimer’s in the following ways:

Changes in roles and responsibilities: You may experience uncertainty, frustration or reduced confidence because you need help with things you once managed on your own. These emotions may lead to stress and changes in feelings toward your partner. Your partner may experience some of these same feelings and may need to make adjustments if there is uncertainty about your comfort level with sexual contact or activities that were once pleasurable for you.

Medical issues: Depression can lead to a loss of interest in sex. Speak to your doctor if you or others have expressed concern about your emotional health. Some medications may have side effects that alter your sexual desire. As the disease progresses, you may experience significant increases or decreases in your sexual behavior. Speak with your doctor if these changes are problematic for you or a partner.

Tips for coping with changes in intimacy and sexuality:

• Accept that changes in your intimate and sexual relationships will occur over time.
• You may want to explore new ways to express sexuality and obtain satisfaction. This may include non-sexual touching or sharing memories about intimate moments.
• Communicate with your partner. Discuss new ways to connect and express closeness in ways that are mutually enjoyable.

Download Sexual Relationship Changes and Alzheimer’s

TIPS FROM PEOPLE WITH ALZHEIMER’S

---

Handling relationships

1. Remember that your care partner or others close to you did not ask to be put in this situation either. They have fears and frustrations too. Working together may make the situation much better.
2. If longtime friends shy away, remember your best and real friends will stay with you. Invest your time and energy in them.
3. When you feel a loss of equality in a relationship, let the other person know what he or she did and how it made you feel.

http://www.optimumseniorcare.com/services/alzheimerscare.php

http://optimumseniorcare.com/blog/

Speaking more than one language may lower dementia risk

In the largest study to date on the link between language skills and dementia, people who spoke two languages staved off the disease years longer than people who only spoke one language. Researchers said that speaking more than one language may lead to better development of the areas of the brain that handle executive functions and attention tasks, which may protect against dementia. More research is needed in this area to confirm and expand on these intriguing findings.

http://www.optimumseniorcare.com/services/alzheimerscare.php

http://optimumseniorcare.com/blog/

Sharing your Alzheimer’s diagnosis is an important step

Talking openly with those you trust is a powerful way to educate those around you about your Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis and to engage their support. You may be hesitant to share this information given the impact such a disclosure may have, but keep in mind that Alzheimer’s is not your fault.

Sharing Your Diagnosis

Sharing your diagnosis with others is an important step toward integrating Alzheimer’s disease into your life. You may be hesitant to share your diagnosis with some people, given the impact such a disclosure may have for you. Keep this mantra in mind: Alzheimer’s disease is not your fault.

• Why tell
• Deciding who to tell
• How to share your diagnosis
• Tips from early-stage individuals
• Responses to diagnosis

Why tell others about your diagnosis

As the disease progresses, you will need the support of those who know and understand you. Concealing or denying your diagnosis will limit your ability to cope with the challenges ahead. While some relationships may be tested by what you are revealing, other relationships may be strengthened.

It is normal to experience fear or discomfort about sharing your diagnosis. However, talking openly with those you trust is a powerful way to educate those around you about the disease and to engage their support.

Deciding who to tell

Some individuals choose to share their diagnosis with just their closest family and friends, while others may be comfortable sharing their diagnosis with a broader group of people. Assess your personal comfort level before making this decision. You may feel more supported sharing your diagnosis with close friends and family first before telling others.

Consider the relationships in your life and determine who should be included in your disclosure:

• Who are the people I feel closest to?
• Who will continue to support me with this diagnosis?
• Who I am responsible for telling (spouse, partner, friends)?

How to share your diagnosis

After deciding to share your diagnosis, consider when to tell your news. You may want to tell others about the diagnosis as soon as you get it. Or you may want to wait until you have had time to come to terms with your diagnosis.

“I found after sharing my diagnosis that my friends have a depth to them that I didn’t know they had.”
Ellen M., person living with Alzheimer’s

To increase the likelihood of a comforting reaction when you tell your friends or family about the diagnosis, find a time when you can be alone and relaxed together. Give some thought to the conversation — what do you want to say? Consider writing your thoughts on paper and bringing that with you.

When you share your diagnosis, you may want to talk about planning for the future or about how family and friends can help; you also may wish to explain more about Alzheimer’s.

Help those closest to you come to terms with your new situation by considering these questions:

• How do I think this person will react? If the reaction is something unexpected, how might I feel? What can I do in response?
• How do I want this person to treat me? The diagnosis represents a big change, but it’s only gradually that my needs will change. What do I want from this person right now?
• What does the person need from me now? What can I provide that will help?

Tips from individuals in the early stage

• Go slowly.
  You don’t need to talk about everything in one sitting if the person is having a reaction that is difficult for you.
• Let the person know that both of you will be having different reactions about this over time.
  You both can continue to talk about your thoughts and feelings throughout your relationship.
• Provide educational brochures about the disease.
  You can also direct him or her to alz.org for additional information.
• Let the person know that you are still you.
  Even though you are now living with this diagnosis, who you are and what has made you close to each other continues unchanged. Continuing your commitment to the relationship you have can be comforting to both of you.
• Let people provide assistance when it makes your life easier.
  Just like it helps you to feel useful and needed, helping may make them feel better, too. Accepting help is not an all-or-nothing proposition, and letting others help is not the same as being helpless. They are trying to make life easier for you, and it may help you to let them do that when it feels appropriate.

Responses to diagnosis

Consider how you felt after hearing your diagnosis for the first time. Just like you, the people with whom you share your diagnosis will likely experience similar reactions including fear, anger or relief that there is an explanation for symptoms. You may encounter unexpected or negative reactions. Family and friends may react with denial, or with comments or behavior that reflect their misconceptions about Alzheimer’s disease. Responses may include, “But you seem to be fine” or “You’re too young to have dementia.”

Denial is a common response to the disclosure of a serious illness; it provides distance from overwhelming feelings. Stigmaor misconceptions about Alzheimer’s may exist due to a lack of information. These reactions reflect the person’s need for more time and/or education before they can respond to you in helpful ways. Allow your family or friends time to digest your news so everyone can move forward together in a positive way.

Your first conversation about your diagnosis may grow into an ongoing dialogue about your experience living with Alzheimer’s. Honest communication about your experience and your expectations of each other can help strengthen your connection. Learn ways you can help your family and friends adjust to your diagnosis.

http://www.optimumseniorcare.com/services/alzheimerscare.php

http://optimumseniorcare.com/blog/

Greater Illinois Chapter CEO part of Caregiving in America forum

The Washington Post will host the forum Caregiving in America to shine a spotlight on the critical work of the growing number of people taking care of an aging parent, often while working and raising children. Featuring Erna Colborn, Alzheimer’s Association® Greater Illinois Chapter President and CEO, as well as Governor Pat Quinn, the conference will take place from 9 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Thursday, November 14 at the Westin Hotel, 909 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago. Doors open at 8:30 a.m.

http://www.optimumseniorcare.com/services/alzheimerscare.php

http://optimumseniorcare.com/blog/